Have you ever been in a situation in which you desperately wished you could control the outcome or control another person’s response? in those moments it’s hard to remember we all see the world differently. Therefore, we get no control over other’s responses, only our own.
We’ve all been there. It’s hard to succumb to a lack of control, even when we know we’ve done everything in our power.
This is why when it comes to my therapeutic coaching, I work hard to emphasize that we are all uniquely different. We have our filters, beliefs, values, timelines, memories, etc.
As a result of this, we all see the world differently, through our map. This doesn’t mean one map is right and the other’s is wrong. Even so, this can be hard to remember. Especially when we are faced with a difficult situation where we think the other person should see it our way and not understanding why they can’t.
For example, imagine a family with two siblings raised identically by their parents. No child is better than the other. Now imagine asking them both to recall the same event/experience. Chances are, they are both going to have different memories of the same situation. The trouble comes when one disagrees with the other’s version. This can be frustrating.
Be as clear as possible and then let go of the outcome.
When it comes to working with clients, I’ve had many difficult conversations reminding them they need to focus on what they can control. This may mean communicating with their loved ones about what they need, how they want to be treated, and what their boundaries look like.
I encourage them to be as clear as possible and then let go of the outcome.
Sometimes the reality is that a person can communicate all this clearly, but when the ball gets tossed in the other person’s court, they may choose not to play. This is their choice and not something we get to control.
In the end, the reality is that it is not our job to make someone see something our way. This mentality — thinking we can and need to change people — will lead to trouble and disappointment. It’s vital to remember that the only thing we have control over is ourselves.
If this concept intrigues you and you’d like to learn more, I encourage you to sign up for a free coaching consultation with me. I can’t wait to help you change your life for the better.