Are you a people-pleaser? Are you scared to disappoint? What happens when you continue to say yes when you really mean no?
In the past, I have shared components of Lissa Rankin’s Your Inner Pilot Light emails. This email talks about continuing to say yes when you really mean no and it rang so true for me. I just had to share.
Say yes when you really mean no
I know you have a people-pleasing part that just abhors disappointing people. I know you’re tempted to do anything to avoid feeling how you feel when someone is displeased with you. I know how hard it can be to say no when you want to be perceived as generous, helpful, and kind.
But, darling, saying no to something you don’t wish to do is saying yes to you.
If you continue to say yes when you really mean no, you’re abandoning yourself, and your self-abandonment will catch up to you as poison in your relationships. You’ll grow resentful because you’re giving more than you’re resourced to give, and over time, that toxic self-abandonment will eat away at you, causing you to sabotage otherwise healthy relationships and potentially making you sick.
If someone else doesn’t know where your “no” lives, how can they help support your true “yes”? Is it really fair to get upset at others for not supporting or appreciating you and your needs if you don’t make it clear what supports you and what doesn’t?
When you stand firmly in your clear no, others may feel disappointed. But healthy people can handle disappointment! In fact, really healthy people will even celebrate you for standing up for your truth!
Not sure how to do this? Call on me.
With you through yes and no,
Your Inner Pilot Light
Are you a people-pleaser? Are you scared to disappoint? Want help practicing “NO”? Let’s chat!