Have you ever stop to consider the relentless judgment we make of ourselves?
Time and time again, I get to sit with people in their stuff, their crisis, their life. Time and time again, I hear judgments.
Whether we don’t perfect something on the first try or take longer than we predicted to do something. Maybe we need to ask for help or have found ourselves in a financial crisis. We have changed directions in our careers and still aren’t happy or have fallen out of love. So on and so forth, there is a standard we have for ourselves, that is much high than what we hold others too.
Think about this.
What if I were to say in those moments, “I myself had been in a similar situation, not so long ago?”
Would you judge me in the same way that you judge yourself? Would you apply the same unkind language to my experience as you did to your own?
“God, you’re a loser.” “What’s wrong with you.” “You must be broken.” “You’ve completely failed.” “You must be an idiot.” “You must be unlovable.”
Of course not! When we read it back that way, we can see the absurdity.
Show yourself compassion.
We are all dealing with our own stuff (much of which others will never know about you or you will know about them). When you get in the mode of the harsh self-critique, I invite you to write the judgments down. Then when you are complete, I want to replace the “I” with your best friend’s name. You will see how unlikely it is that you would say that to someone you love or even say it a stranger.
I once read, Show yourself the same kind of understanding and compassion that you would for anyone else.
Our judgment of ourselves blocks us from shinning our full light out into the world. Be kind to yourself!
Are you harder on yourself than others? Let’s talk.