Fairy tales lead us to believe that we need to strive for this ideal of “happily ever after,” like it is a destination everyone should shoot for. This belief that you will eventually get there and then everything will be perfect. Yet, let’s be honest, it always feels just out of reach. There is always another something that prevents you from reaching that “happily ever after” destination.
We as a society have been taught we need to “DO this __________,” so “we HAVE __________ result,” and “then we will BE _________. But more often then not, when we get the result we realize we still aren’t happy. It’s sort of like the idea of retirement. Everyone is working towards this time “when I retire,” yet, if you are not doing it currently, what makes one think it will be that way during retirement. And more importantly, tomorrow is not promised to anyone, yet we are working towards a time that for many is years away.
This ideal “happily ever after”
As a believer in having dreams and goals, I often wonder if my motivation is faulty thinking. Why am I striving for this ideal future point, this “happily ever after?”
It seems that we spend a lot of time in the future, trying to reach this ideal, not loving who we are today. What if we flipped that script and recognize there are many destinations along the way. Think of it as if there are many different chapters or seasons in your life, each one bringing with it additional people, different lessons, new joys, unexpected obstacles, and fresh ideas. Each chapter just as interesting as the last, so you want to keep reading.
The story is not complete halfway through, once we meet prince charming, get the dream job, or lose the pounds. But that is what “happily ever after” has us believing.
We need to BE now, not in the future
We need to figure out how to BE currently. Just think of how freeing it would be to realize there is no one final destination that is going to “change everything,” and suddenly make you happy.
Rather than striving to get the result and realizing you are still not satisfied, let’s try to discover what is it you want to BE first. Who are you wanting to become? How do you see yourself as you move through the world with this XXXX? How would you show up? What kind of choices would you make? How would you walk? What would you feel?
Get at the energy, the essence. Now go forth and BE that today!
BE, DO, HAVE! First BE, then out of that we DO and then out of that, we HAVE the outcomes we want.
Want to figure out the essence of BEing? Let’s Chat.
P.S. Did you enjoy this blog? Read more from Jessica’s Journal or watch Jessica’s Saturday Sessions.