When I was young, I used to love to sing about rainbows. They were all made-up songs. Songs that I am sure made no sense, but my parents played along. I also loved to color rainbows and would hum as I colored. Blissfully unaware. Unaware of what is acceptable and what is not.
I do recall people commenting on my humming, but I don’t recall anyone saying anything about my rainbow songs, yet I stopped doing both.
There is this time in our lives where we are blissfully unaware of what society deems as “acceptable.” It is only a short moment, in the larger picture of life. But when it is gone, we lose a piece of innocence.
I was reminded of that lost innocence this past weekend with my daughter.
My daughter when she was around 5, she was overheard telling her older brother, who felt he had messed up his drawing, to “Just make it into something different, that’s what I do, Chance.” That captured the essence of her personality. She was unapologetic about who she was, determined to wear what she wanted, and not be derailed by what others thought of her.
Fast forward to today, man how I wish I could turn back time and give her back the confidence she not so long ago thrived on. Rather today, she is struggling to go out for basketball. She wants to but does not think she is good enough, because two years ago, in 6th grade she was told she was not good enough.
This isn’t about basketball, I know basketball is not her 1st love; this is about those moments that shift your perception of yourself.
Why can’t she innocently go out, be with her friends, and have fun? But unfortunately, you can’t undo these moments and unfortunately, these are the moments that have us start to doubt ourselves.
You Stop Scribbling
Can you remember being little? Those moments when you wanted to try something new. The thrill of the new was irresistible! You tried and most likely fumbled, but you got back up and tried again.
Until someone shamed you for not being good enough.
Then something heartbreaking happened. You stopped scribbling and singing off-key. Quit altogether because you were afraid of stumbling on the basketball court. You started hesitating to try something new because someone might make fun of you or tell you are not good enough.
Maddux has forgotten how precious she was when she unapologetically changed her picture into something completely different. She unfortunately has lost touch with how adorable she was when she was brave enough to try and fail.
I know firsthand how we hold ourselves back from trying something new and I see it with clients regularly. You are not alone, we all lost our innocence at some point, but I want to help you restore some of that un-abashing innocence.
Are you thinking about trying something new and need a pep talk? Let’s Chat.
P.S. Did you enjoy this blog? Read more from Jessica’s Journal or watch Jessica’s Saturday Sessions.